The Ebb and Flow of Healing: Why Imperfection Is Part of Growth

Hello dear soul

Do you ever feel like the healing is never ending?

Do you ever have that moment where you think… not this again. I have worked on this issue so many times, yet it keeps coming back.I hear you. I feel you. I see you.

I have some thoughts on this that I would like to share in today's blog.

When we approach healing in the same way that we approach the rest of modern western life, we will always feel as if we are trying to reach a destination and missing the mark.I am speaking to myself just as much as I am speaking to you, my lovely reader.

Do you ever feel as if you are paddling for dear life, just keeping your head above water, searching for dry land. Is there a deep search for an island that will be your sanctuary, where everything will finally be okay and you will feel safe.

When we have experienced unstable childhoods, or gathered wounds around not being enough or needing to be perfect, it is completely understandable that we are doggy paddling and searching. If we feel unsafe in our present, why would we not be looking for safety outside of it. I am often out in that water doggy paddling too.

I think that for many of us the paddling becomes calmer in time, and the waves grow softer. We might have times in our life when we feel unstable again, and we will also have times when we are able to float with ease. Maybe this ebb and flow is part of life.

The sweet spot comes when we have fewer days of frantic paddling, and we also accept them when they arise. They no longer define us. They simply show us that the seas are a little choppy.And on the days when we are floating with the current, we can allow ourselves to feel the ease of it.

It is the paddling state that prevents us from enjoying life, because we are always hunting for the magic fix, the perfect environment that will finally allow us to rest. So on the days when we could simply be, we find ourselves planning and pushing, which leads to the familiar feeling of fatigue.

We become tired of life, tired of being ourselves, tired of trying to heal.

Healing is not a list of issues to fix. It is not a goal to reach or a mountain to climb. It cannot be purchased in one payment or attained in a weekend retreat.

Healing is a central part of being human.

Too often the pursuit of getting better is clouded by the shadow of perfection, where we push ourselves to have all the answers. It can look like striving to reach that point in the future, the island of perfection.

This is natural and very common. I see it in clients and in my own journey. We want to evolve and expand in this life, and why shouldn't we. We want to reach that island where we can finally drop all our baggage and live happily ever after as the untouched version of ourselves. It sounds wonderful, does it not?!

Here is how I now see it. The island does exist, just not in the way we have imagined it until now. It may need to be reshaped with a gentle dose of maturity and realism, while still holding the magic of healing. Perhaps the destination of healing is accepting the imperfections of the island, and taking the time to gradually build it.

If the island will never be perfect, what can we do.

We can create defences that protect it from erosion and help us feel resilient.We can plant and grow nourishing crops that support a healthy body.We can build sturdy and peaceful homes that help us feel safe.We can create communal spaces that bring people together. You can see where this is going.

We can find more calm in this place and choose the life we live. When we stop grasping for it with desperation, perhaps we can feel and think with more clarity.

Part of the confusion is that modern life has conditioned us to believe that success, worth and value come from doing more. In the structures we live in, life often becomes about producing more, paying more and proving more.

For the most part, this game is making us unwell. These rules that we never consciously agreed to are taking their toll and carrying us toward a fantasy island that is not even habitable. With awareness, we get to choose where we land.

If we strip back this lie, we find that the deepest personal evolution comes from turning inward and being as still as we can with whatever is there.

For me, the most profound and authentic moments have happened in these states, when I have had the courage and compassion to see myself as I am and accept it a few percent more than I did yesterday.

A few percent really is enough for change. Please do not believe that the parts of you that are not all light and rainbows mean you cannot do this.

The magic comes when we acknowledge our shadow and give it a little space to be seen.

What if we pause long enough to feel what is coming up, not because we should, but because we simply need to be true to ourselves.

Embracing our healing nature is challenging when we live in a world that teaches suppression. We need tools that allow us to step away from this conditioning and find our own truth.

That is what I am here for. I share healing tools and a safe space to shift your perspective and find a deeper experience of healing. I believe in your journey. I believe we are all worthy of a space where peace and acceptance can grow.

If you would like to explore this work together and build your island, I would love to hear from you.

info@soulspaceunlimited.com

www.soulspaceunlimited.com