Guest Blog:When the Scroll Becomes a Trigger- How Social Media Fuels Eating Disorders, Low Self-Esteem and Self-Hate

Stella Rose Sheldon
Oct 28
5 min read

To kick off my new website, I am delighted to share a guest blogger with some nuggets of wisdom we can all benefit from. I was drawn to contact Becky and learn more about her work, partly to refer clients her way and also because I know the central role that our relationship to food and our body plays in our overall wellbeing.

There are many puzzle pieces to my own health journey, and one I have talked about the least is food. There is a reason Becky's work is close to my heart. In my teens and early twenties I struggled with binge eating, and later in my mid-twenties at a time of big life change and grief, I developed restrictive eating habits. The wider world of comparison and toxic messaging of diets from a young age, undoubtedly played a part in these coping strategies.

As I am coming out the other side of the worst of a chronic fatigue condition, I can see clearly... the restrictive eating meant that my body was not getting what it needed for years and contributed to a chronic crash. Living with such an illness has also made it hard to know what to eat to nourish my health and get better. It has also contributed to developing osteoporosis in my thirties. A bit of a shock!

I am very happy to say that I am in the best place I have ever been with food. I have let go of external general advice on diets and work with a nutritionist for bespoke guidance. This has been a game changer and is an ongoing journey. I also want to love and nourish my body with plentiful nutrients and am willing to learn what is healthy for me (not what Instagram tells me is the latest super food!).

I see a lot of adults who struggle with their relationship to food and health, and I am sure with social media these pressures will increase for everyone, particularly young people. Becky has some clear and powerful advice on the road to healing our relationship to our bodies. Thank you Becky! I hope you enjoy.

By Becky Stone – Trauma-Informed Therapist & Neurodivergent ED Specialist

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We used to compare ourselves to the people we knew.

Now we compare ourselves to millions.

Have you ever opened Instagram, seen a “What I Eat in a Day” video, and suddenly felt like a failure?

Or looked at a photo you liked of yourself… until you saw it next to someone else’s edited, filtered, perfect-looking image?

You’re not imagining it.

Phones, especially social media, are fuelling a quiet crisis of comparison, control, and shame. For many of us, especially those with eating disorders, neurodivergence, or low self-worth, the scroll has become a trigger.

The illusion we’re sold

Social media constantly suggests that your worth is conditional.

➔ Lose weight, gain confidence

➔ Skip breakfast, feel more in control

➔ Buy this cream, fix your insecurities

➔ Shrink, smooth, edit, filter, change

No one talks about how much effort, training, or restriction went into those bodies. No one mentions the photo retouching apps, or the subtle message that you need to be someone else to be acceptable.

The wellness industry often disguises control as health. And when you’re neurodivergent, anxious, or perfectionistic, those rules stick.

Because your brain is searching for safety and control, and suddenly, the clean eating routine or “fasting window” feels like the answer.

The dopamine trap

Phones give us a fast hit of dopamine, a chemical that makes us feel good (briefly). But this reward cycle quickly becomes a trap:

➔ You restrict food and feel in control

➔ You get praise or likes and want more

➔ You push harder, scroll longer, compare deeper

➔ You burn out, feel worse, and blame yourself

This isn’t just willpower — it’s the brain chasing dopamine while slowly eroding your self-worth. Especially for neurodivergent people, where dopamine regulation is already challenging, this loop is particularly dangerous.

“That’s not a good photo of me”

I can’t count how many times I’ve been out with friends, we take a photo, and someone says:

➔ “You can’t post that one, I look awful.”

➔ “Delete it, it hasn’t been filtered.”

➔ “That angle is terrible for me.”

And honestly? The picture was fine. Sometimes, it was beautiful.

However, what one person sees as a moment of joy, another sees as a moment of shame. And so it gets deleted. The laughter, the friendship, the realness, wiped away because it didn’t meet someone’s unspoken “standard.”

This is how deeply self-criticism can go. It’s no longer about how we feel; it’s about how we think we look to others.

When did eating three meals a day become abnormal?

Social media normalises skipping breakfast, cutting carbs, and treating hunger like a flaw.

But regular eating is one of the most critical ways to regulate mood, reduce anxiety, and build body trust.

Especially for neurodivergent people, who already deal with sensory overwhelm, executive functioning struggles, and emotional regulation challenges, food isn’t just fuel. It’s a stabiliser.

When you’re underfed, you’re more likely to feel anxious, irritable, low in motivation, and flooded with emotion. Yet the message we constantly get is: less is more.

What I see in therapy rooms, and real life

• Clients comparing their bodies to influencers and deleting photos they once liked

• People are afraid to post unfiltered images, even when they’re laughing or feeling good

• Teens and adults joining WhatsApp groups where restriction are normalised

• Neurodivergent clients are overwhelmed by food noise, mirrors, or social image pressure

• People are exhausted from checking if they’re “enough” today

Phones are feeding an invisible cycle of not-enoughness. And we carry it everywhere.

What helps — small but powerful shifts

I never tell clients to go cold turkey. Phones aren’t evil. But they need boundaries.

Here’s what helps many of my clients:

• Mute or unfollow any account that makes you compare or feel inadequate

• Leave group chats that fuel diet talk or perfectionism

• Turn off your front-facing camera and take a break from selfies

• Delete apps you use to body-check (or move them off your home screen)

• Set usage limits, especially at the times of day when your anxiety is high

• Use grayscale mode to reduce visual stimulation (this helps ADHD brains, too)

• Remember: if someone ignores you, criticises your body, or excludes you, let them

As Mel Robbins says, "Let them."

Let people reveal who they are, and believe them.

The question is no longer “Am I good enough for them?”

It’s “Are they good enough for me?”

You are not too sensitive; the world is too loud.

Phones can feel like lifelines, but they can also become pressure cookers for low self-esteem.

If you’re feeling like:

➔ You can’t stop comparing

➔ You’ve lost your confidence

➔ You’re only allowed to be seen filtered or fixed

You’re not broken.

But it might be time to create a little space. A little quiet. A little truth.

About the Author

Becky Stone is a UK-based therapist specialising in eating disorders, body image, and neurodivergent mental health. With lived experience of ADHD and recovery, she works with teens and adults using a shame-free, trauma-informed approach. Becky is passionate about helping people build confidence without chasing perfection.

📍 www.counsellorwhocares.co.uk