Re-entering ordinary life: chronic illness and my recovery
- Stella Rose Sheldon
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
When I started this business, I was still in the middle of recovering from chronic fatigue and trying to rebuild my health and life.
For years before that, I had been struggling with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and alcohol patterns, until eventually my body forced me to stop through ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), also know as CFS (Chronic fatigue syndrome). It changed everything.
For the past eight years, life has been centered around healing.
I explored therapy, alternative wellbeing practices, mindfulness, nature-based approaches, nutrition, energy work and spirituality. In many ways, I had to step out of the life I knew in order to recover.
I didn't want my life back. I wanted a new life that allowed me to be healthy, and a better version of myself.
There were no clear answers at the beginning, and I slowly began to rebuild things day by day. I was willing to try things I would never have considered before, including practices like Reiki, and I gradually found my way back to a sense of connection with myself and the world around me.
Amongst the frustration of living with chronic symptoms, in moments these changes truly felt amazing!
Nature, in particular, became a steady anchor for me during that time. Daily walks in the woods became the backbone of recovering my health. EFT and Qigong have been consistent anchors too.
Over time, I also reconnected with a sense of spirituality that had been present for me in childhood but had faded during earlier parts of my life. That brought both comfort and meaning during a very uncertain period.
Looking back, I can see that this phase of my life was both deeply healing and also very consuming. I was doing a lot of inner work, and I was also absorbing a lot of messaging about healing, alignment and transformation. I was tirelessly searching for the magic bullet.
At times, it felt like there were clear answers to be found if I just followed the right path.
If I could just get it right!
Over time, I’ve started to question that a little more. The idea of a clear answer is often too binary. The human brain longs for black and white, good or bad, well or ill, but I have found that life doesn’t work that way and all the messy grey in-between is ultimately, what it is to be human.
What I’ve come to understand is not only is healing not linear, it is rarely about one method or one way of doing things. I have become cautious of messaging that says different. For me, it has been a long process of returning to health through many small daily actions. Consistency over time has been my gift and my reward.
I am now entering a new chapter.
My health is not 100% and I may always have to dance with symptoms and my bodies limitations. Over dinner last night, my wise mum agreed and reminded me that ME/CFS is in my DNA. She has lived with the condition for over a decade and done it in style and set an inspiring example for me.
As I turn a new page, my health is so so much better than it was, and I am well enough to shake life up a bit.
I have just handed back the keys to our rented house and am about to begin a different way of living in our converted campervan this summer. More time in nature, fewer fixed costs, and a simpler rhythm for a while.
It feels like a transition out of a very inward period and back into a more ordinary, lived experience of life again. It makes sense. We cannot live in eternal introspection.
One of the things that rings true throughout this experience has been the need for balance. I now realize how this applies to our relationship with both the external and internal world.
I am finding that it is time to re-balance my own worlds a little. To take what I have learnt the past seven years and integrate it more into a world that feels more challenging than ever.
There is something both exciting and uncomfortable about that.
I can feel myself reflecting on the ways I have related to wellness, spirituality and healing over the years, and how those ideas have shaped not only my personal life but also my work.
What feels important now is integration rather than intensity.
Coming back into the world not as something to escape from or reject, but as something to participate in more fully, with all its complexity.
Life is not either spiritual or ordinary. It is both. It is the full range of being human, including the difficult parts, the joyful parts and everything in between.
I am still open to ideas of energy, intuition, meaning and the unseen. Absolutely! And I also feel increasingly comfortable saying that I don’t know everything, and that different things will resonate for different people, as they should. Also, things change and we have the right to change with them.
This feels like the beginning of a different kind of chapter. A few years ago I never would have predicted that I would be living in a van for the summer in Yorkshire with a partner I hadn't yet met.
I am always humbled by the experience of chronic illness, and it has taught me many lessons, such as resilience and a stoic approach to life's bumps. It seems I am entering a new stage of this “being human” experience, and I am not sure what it will look like exactly.
When I feel the fear, I remind myself that change is scary, and it can also be a gift. Either way, it is inevitable. I am driving into the fear with my home on my back, and the privilege of finding out what comes next.
I love the work that I do and the flexibility that leading my own business gives me. To begin, it was necessary as the 9-5 demands of normal work would burn me out very quickly. Today I am ready to evolve and see my work gently evolve with me.
I want to keep the lessons I have learnt and continue to weave them into my business, from the approach of sessions to my work-life balance.
I will continue to support clients online, hold monthly remote Qigong groups, as well as pop-up events and therapy slots in Norfolk.I am not sure when I will find my way back to Norfolk as a permanent base, but for now I am looking forward to returning to my roots in June and late July/August.
Keep an eye out for my newsletter coming soon, with more information on how to connect online and in-person this summer.
I would love to hear from you if this newsletter has resonated and please also share the post with anyone who might find it useful.
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