Do you ever feel like you’re being pulled in different directions? As if one part of you wants to move forward and another is heavy like an anchor...or many parts whirling around your head gravitating to different things that seemingly contradict each other. Sometimes we experience cognitive dissonance when unconscious beliefs and desires don’t align with our goals. We just can't seem to move forwards or make the changes we want, leaving us feeling stuck!
When we are on a healing journey, by which I mean any journey of intentionally moving towards more health and peace, these situations can be really difficult! It is common for these different parts inside us to fight and squirm, particularly when we are making life changes. I experience this personally and see clients, friends and family struggle with this too! It is a part of being human.
As much as we may consciously want to change something, often we have parts with other agendas and they tend to be far less conscious, or at least the reason for their existence is below the surface. These parts aren’t menacing or sent to make our life difficult, though it certainly feels like it at times! It is helpful to remind ourselves that any parts that resist change or new thoughts were created for a reason.
It can be really powerful to become curious about these parts inside us and ask, if they have a purpose what might it be? So often we will find lightness and release when we connect to these parts with more compassion and openness, instead of making them the enemy. In life we have rarely been shown this truth, and usually have been conditioned to tense, push and fix things. Even worse, we may be berating ourselves for failing to change.
A big part of Emotional freedom technique (EFT) and Hypnotherapy is acknowledging these parts and connecting with the subconscious to understand the mechanisms below our conscious awareness. In my work I am regularly inspired by seeing a client build a relationship with their previously suppressed parts, and grow compassion and patience towards them. I have had huge “Aha” moments myself in doing parts work and understanding myself better. It's an ongoing journey for us all.
When we are doing mind-body therapy, the deep roots of our inner workings can become so much clearer because we are addressing the somatic experience, as well as the cognitive. The suppressed parts are not only in the mind, but also in the body and energy system. Suppressing them is always going to prevent our growth and healing. You can imagine all these parts of you locked away and acting out in defiance. So what can you do today, right now?
You may feel this pull in different directions, an inner discomfort, confusion or frustration. It might show up as fear or finding it hard to focus, ultimately it is being out of balance and disconnected from your soul-centre. When you feel this, take a deep breath. Acknowledge the experience and try not to make it wrong. You can say to yourself “wow, I am feeling really lost etc” and soften and breathe deeper. Instead of fighting the part/s, let some tension go.
See what happens if you open with curiosity to this and ask yourself what parts might be demanding your attention. You don’t need to know the answer, this isn't a test! The key is your awareness, curiosity and willingness to be in a different space. What would happen if you asked what these parts needed from you? You might discover they are trying to protect you in some way.
The parts within us may seem to want different things that creates this dissonance and holds us back. On further exploration, we might be surprised to find they want the same things as our conscious mind, such as safety and love. Maybe like a child or unruly teenager they are going about it the ‘wrong’ way, but now we can thank them and send understanding. We can parent them. If we do all this whilst tapping, we may well find deeper and quicker shifts in moving forwards as the energy system is supported to process and unwind old patterns.
So, the good news is...simply becoming more aware and curious about these inner parts will lead you to finding more balance. This increased acceptance of previously hidden parts will help you move forwards in the ways you long to, and show you that there is a different way to do things. There is a different way to be in the world, interact with yourself and awaken to change. I think that is pretty wonderful and uplifting!
I would love to explore parts therapy with you! If this topic calls to you and you'd like to learn more, let's arrange a free exploration call to discuss working together. Do you have some thoughts and experiences about this topic? Get in touch and share your perspective. I am here to support your healing journey. X
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